My Curse

So in my first post, one of the things that I told you all about me is that I am Empathic. The ability to perceive and feel the circumstance of another human being is how experience has defined it for me; otherwise known as, a curse.

It has its benefits, being able to actually understand where a person is coming from and helping them out is a great thing! However, when you are not in a position to help a person, say at work or needing to accomplish a tedious task, it becomes difficult as you start pulling in their emotions. I've been told, " Aaron, you can turn this off. Why do you continue to make it an excuse?" or "Stop trying to read me, its all you do." well,
   1. It isn't in my control. To me it is as involuntary as breathing is. All it requires me to do is look at someone and I begin to pull in their emotions, that my inner core begins to feel like theirs. It feels as if what ever secret that they hide becomes evident to me and as I begin the process of removing their emotions from my body, I feel....them. I start to understand them just a little bit better.
   2. I don't express many emotions on my own. I'm a fairly outgoing person that can have fun, but that's my shallow side. I can, usually, mold my personality to any situation but that is my personality not my emotions. If anyone cares to spend enough time, they will learn that I focus on logic itself. That point A leads to point B and the basic ideas of cause and effect. Furthermore, because of that, when it comes to my own personal assessment of my personality and my actions I usually am straight to the point and blunt about my observations

Maybe thats why I'm empathic...to take in what I lack? Now don't get me wrong, I do have emotions, they are very deep and I have to be worked up over something that I care greatly for. But the common person will not see them.

What am I talking about... *sigh* I don't know.... I have so much that goes through my mind that I don't know what to sort through. Thus, I apologize if I seem to be jumping around in my topics in the future. I'm trying to sort through my ideas even as I'm writing them down so it won't always make sense. And Thank GOD for spell check! My blog would be unreadable if that didn't exist.

Day 2